Have you ever felt inadequate in your life? Like “God how am I supposed to be in this situation?” That situation could be countless life events, but for me, this situation was the friends I was surrounding myself with. Now these friends were Godly, but I started to not be myself. I felt like I was walking on egg shells being around them. I no longer felt like I was who God wanted me to be.
“Behold you delight in truth in the inward being and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”Psalm 51:6
When I recognized the change in myself I realized how dishonest I was being with the outside world. God does not want us to be dishonest, but to live in truth. Anxiety had become increasingly more present in my mind, and I had just thought it was the normal anxiety everyone deals with.
I had like actual real people anxiety about life.
When I began to be honest with myself and the people around me that I thought my anxiety was more than everyday anxiety life started to fall back into place.
“Jesus said to them ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one come to the Father except through me.’”John 14:6
Recognizing the anxiety I felt was real and get help for it and talking about it meant that I was living in truth. According to John 14:6, Jesus is the truth. I was growing closer to God by being honest about who I was.
Being honest is not always easiest route to take. Trust me I lived in denial about my anxiety a lot longer than I should have. Being honest meant something had to change in my life to bring me closer to God.
So what happened?
I lost the friends I was surrounding myself with. Was it because they were bad people, influencing me away from God? Absolutely not! But they were also not uplifting or bringing me closer to God. In all honesty, they were causing more anxiety than they were helping.
“But he said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But I kind of embraced this change. I started doing life more honestly with a new group of people. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 are verses I truly live by. I was being honest with the people in my life about the struggles I was facing by losing those other friends.
I was becoming stronger the more I embraced the changes God had started in my life. Being honest with God and the people in my life has allowed me to unapologetically be who God wants me to be.
Being honest with God is so hard but the reward is that much greater so take the leap and lay your burden on Him.